An Introduction To…


By Xxavier

April, 2022


My given nature precludes me ever insinuating myself anywhere unbidden. In other words, I’ve been generously invited to participate in LRR for, I presume… … my jovial grumpiness. As I am unknown far and wide, I hereby proffer an introduction to myself. The reading of it is optional, (and criticism futile).

Introductory Bio…

No man may ever be obliged to be what he is not, so, any reader’s callous conclusions of what follows will pique me not at all. And now, you have, already, a hint of me.

Herein… crux. If ever I’d given allowance for an aphorism to guide my life, it would have been “You can’t always get what you want” – Rolling Stones (1969).

It is possible to live ‘happily ever after’ even in a world where disillusionment is as ubiquitous as air to breathe. I am evidential proof.

The best of my inclinations counsel that I volunteer no more about myself, simply because I’ve too much about which to be modest. My hope, for decades now, has been to remain as much a mystery as possible. It’s a certainty – as much as the constants in physics – all who will retain  some mystery will, inevitably, stimulate throbbing  curiosity in others.

And finally, the essential me. I will reluctantly reveal I’m of an age well past prime. Also admit to being about a tenth broken and a quarter wore out. Liked grammar school – had no use for high school… educationally.

Had a high school diploma, just don’t know what happened to it. Otherwise, I’m without degrees, certificates of completion, have no ‘cum laudes’ associated with my name, am not credentialed, and have no ‘fields of expertise’… in other words… I’m no danger to society.     

Once, I was a relentless reader. That long, long time ago phase provided me a ’higher education’ I’d never – thankfully – been sacrificed to in some accredited State institution. I’ve no great cerebral successes to boast of but a life’s worth of considered convictions. And it’s no small delight I’ll get skewering self-important prigs and the willfully criminally insane, figuratively, and – provided the opportunity – literally. And that’s pretty much it.

Oh… I prefer salty over sweet; vodka over whiskey. My two favorite soft drinks are madeira in the cold months, limoncello concoctions in the hot. There’s my preference and fancy for any cigar assembled with predominantly Dominican leaf filler, Sumatran binder, Cameroon wrapper, and hand rolled by a fetching maiden against her bared thigh. And that’s it.

Oh, also… there are but two goals left on my bucket list. Before my sublunary efforts end, I would very much like to be vamped. Second, I pray to spend however many years remain on my contract, on some paradisal island, with the sumptuous Odile, and Yekaterina, and continue living happily ever after… and…

… … and that really is it.

PS: I’ll participate neither in the dumbing down of humans, nor their devolutionary descent… I’m NOT GOING  BACK!

PPS cum Addendum:

I, Xxavier, may with all proper considerations consulted, be regarded as an ‘old soul – having previously led three distinct lives. The first as unfrocked mendicant priest of the Order Empathites in Byzantium.

The second, as itinerant Philosopher Deucynian The Vacillator of Lisieux (and Calvados aficionado) who punched out Spinoza for his stupid ‘pantheistic’ theory.

And third as two time champion marathon dancer, ‘Chick’ Lyle, once in Poughkeepsie, another in Duluth.

And there you have me, all of me.


4 Replies to “Introduction”

  1. I’m so very pleased you graciously decided to join us, X…my dictionary and thesaurus will be getting a workout.

    Welcome to our little family!


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