Nancy Pelosi. Really, what can one say about her?
Is she the sphincter hammer, the pompous turd captain; an elitist fuck-you dragon?
No.
She’s one of these.
Puzzle Time! 7.30.21
I Was Correct
Biden admin is moving towards a vaccine passport.
Nailed this one, didn’t I?
Ted Cruz sounded the alarm. He said they already have this database. The government has been gathering data on who is vaccinated and who is not. This is what they are using to go door to door with their vaccine push. They wouldn’t be able to know what doors to knock on if they didn’t already know who has or hasn’t had their shot.
I will not comply.
Selfie PSA
I get a lot of selfies sent to me, from nieces, my cousins kids, friends kids, and I have one thing to say:
For the love of God, look in the mirror. You look like a trollop who just got back from a three-day bender in Cabo with some players from the Grapefruit League, makeup looking like it was applied with a trowel before you slept, showered, and swam in it.
Wear sunglasses if you must, but wash your damn face.
Get On Gab
Let’s face it: Gab requires you to have balls of steel and a sense of humor. Gab is kinda like a big karaoke bar but it seems some people only want to be heard singing by their friends, so we’ll go sing in everyone else’s basement, too.Your four main weapons are: Surprise, Fear, and Ruthless Efficiency.
Be sure to join random groups in which you clearly have no interest; drop a random turd and wait for it……
“You Riverdancing Shirley Temple impersonator.”
“Back away from the toolbar.. That’s it, nice and slow…”
“Crap. I just ordered a dog from Amazon.”
“YAY….will we get to wear chains and get our naked hindquarters spanked?”
“I wear a blindfold in the shower but only because of my backfat.”
“Who’s the asshole who’s voted for “asshole”? What an asshole.”
“You can’t tell me you like scrotums. Nobody likes scrotums.”
“Of course i wouldn’t expect you to comprehend any of this because it would require you to stop licking the paint off of your walls for too long. maybe you can ask the “smart brother” to read it for you.”
“I’m not going to generalize here, so all I’ll say is that these were clearly the type of guys who wear their high school football jackets to every function, including the prom (with dress pants, though); who have Top Gun: Redux on DVD; and most significantly, who get on top of their girlfriends for two–no that’s unfair, two and a half–minutes, come, roll over, fart, and think to themselves, “God I just gave my woman a gooder.”
“Don’t post your shit here, moron.”
“I haven’t posted anything I wouldn’t want anyone else to see. Now, if they could see I did it in my skivvies, that would be something else.”
“Pfft. One day I might be half as smart as you, Bill Mitchell.”
”Don’t you dare refer to me as paranoid… until you have been a 19 year old female on the internet, you have no right to do so.”
*Weeps silently and goes to 4-chan*
“Actually giggles like a schoolgirl at ‘Click here to see photos of goats that have stiffened.'”
“You people are fucking nuts…. out of your trees the lot of you.”
“I want details for God’s sake!
Bastards.
*turns on heel stomps off and slams door*
Ouch! On own hand….*fuck*”
“One button? Are you mad? Thou art loopy. What’s the point of a toolbar with only one button?”
“Very few people know that wet dog thing is a powerful aphrodisiac.”
“Goats mow lawns well. And act as burglar deterrents. But not as effectively as geese. Geese, on the other hand, shit a lot more than goats. Evil thing, goose shit.”
“You people are so uncultured. If you don’t have a pinky, how can you expect to sit and drink tea properly, when invited round by the vicar?”
“Are those your fingers or extra nipples?”
“I didn’t know my eyeballs could get this hot.”
Go for these tried and true methods.
You’ll be glad you did. 😁
