Voice Mail Message – Part 2

Sparky’s old voice mail message was funny. It’d pick up, and say “You have reached WTEN, the home of country music in Eastern Tennessee. Leave a message or song request, and we’ll do our best to get it on the air.”

So with that invitation to riot, I went for it each time I called:

“Hi, am I on the air? Hello? hey, can y’all play the disco version of “Cotton-Eyed Joe?” I’d be ever so grateful.”

“Do me a favor? Would you please announce that Edna Jackson makes cornbread from a mix? Yes, I said a mix! That bitch says it’s from scratch, but you’d have to be dead to believe that! Thankee.”

“Hi y’all…can you clear something up for me? When Carrie Underwood sings ‘Jesus Take the Wheel’ she’s talking about a steering wheel, right?”

“Hey…I did the thing. How do I get brains out of shag carpet?”

“Hey…tell Scooter to call me when he’s on break. I need to know if this dress makes me look fat.”


About Modesty

Named after a fictional British spy from the 1960s, she's a stickler for manners, tradition, and has a love of the finer things in life, mixed with a naughty sense of humor and a vocabulary, once released, could make a stevedore blush. She hates run-on sentences like the one you just read.

7 Replies to “Voice Mail Message – Part 2”

  1. I’m cracking up here. You two are peas in a pod. Made for each other.
    And you both know I love you.
    Thank you-

  2. I’m available to produce -reality sitcom. The two of you – split screen, in 18th century ornate French Court bathtubs – soap bubbles… on the phone. Male servants in shirtless skivvies. I’m jalkin’ $$$$$. I’m talkin’ 1 pilot 12 episodes guaranteed! You two lookin’ for a producer slash agent? contact Kirby Corcoran – Offices – Lower Vista Hollywood just off Vine.

    • Darling X…you make me blush (not Sparky; nothing makes her blush) and feel warm and fuzzy. Just one question: how ornate is the bathtub? It could make or break the deal…

    • We iz who we iz…and to be honest, I *think* there is a disco version. Not sure, and too frightened to look it up!
      Glad you enjoyed it, Ms Deco!

    • Mod’s much quicker on the uptake than I, Ms Deco. Damned lightning fast with on-the-fly voicemails. I replay them and laugh my ass off. ;O)

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